quality not quantity

Investing  YOU into the right people. 

 

In 2015, my main new years resolution was to invest my time and energy into the right people, but its now its 3 months down the line and I am realising that I have done the complete opposite. 

 

My whole life I have always been the kind of person where I either love you or hate you, there is no inbetween; some see this as a good thing and so do I… to a certain extent, However its not good in the sense that the people I ‘love’, I  start investing time into them but really they don’t invest the same into me , thus leaving me feeling let down. 

 

I have always had a very close-knit group of friends, who are loyal, trustworthy and literally the bestest friends ever, but last year I started going out much more and started meeting new people and almost pushed aside my true friends, without even noticing and replaced them with these society marked ‘cool kids’.. 

 I began searching for approval from all these new people, which is the complete opposite to my normal character, because I was so overjoyed by all this ‘popularity’.  It was as if I was compelled by this idea of being in the ‘in crowd’. Only until a few days ago,  I was in hospital and I actually saw how many of these new ‘friends’ contacted me, I opened my eyes up to the harsh reality and wanted to hit myself in the face for being so naïve and ignorant and I realised that its not about quantity, its about quality. 

 

I often sit back and analyse how people are in todays time. The importance for them to get a certain number of likes on instagram, or how many friends they have on facebook, or how many followers they have, I mean for goodness sakes there are even apps available where you can BUY likes and followers, now tell me that is not absolutely INSANE. And I am so ashamed to admit this, but I was actually becoming one of those people, and thank God I opened my eyes. And realised what the hell for?? 

 

The message I am trying to get across, is stop trying to ‘fit in’ and find joy by the number of followers you have, because it the real world, this all means shit. Its about you, if you want to post 10 photos on instagram a day, do it! I promise you the instagram popo arent going to arrest you, if you don’t have 80 people around you at all times, so what! If you only get 8 likes, who cares?  Count the things you DO have! 

  Think about it, in 20 years, whos gonna say “OMG REMEMBER WHEN SHE ONLY HAD 10 likes?’ and if someone does act that way and judge your character on stuff like that, that is a portrayel of their character, not yours. 

 

I am a popular girl, I love huge parties and love meeting new people but  what I have realisied is that there is a HUGE difference between HAVING these people as friends and COUNTING on them as friends, and only now at 17, I am seeing the difference and I wish I could take back all the time, money and energy I put into the wrong people, but the reality is I cannot. All I can do is learn. The second you find security within yourself, all this shit wont matter. My priorities last year were being the centre of a party, having 100 likes on instagram, I had crushes on the  ‘cool’ guys who are in actual fact, nothing but narcissistic jerks. But now that’s all changed, my priorities are to be a good sister, a good daughter, a good aunty, a good friend and most importantly, I want to be a good ME. 

 

When you go for a job interveiw, they don’t hire you on how many followers or friends you have on social media? That doesn’t judge the things that are important like integrity and respect. 

 

So, if anyone is having this same crisis, take my advice, stop wasting your time on the wrong people, your time and energy is vauluable, so treasure it and spend it on the right people! I am not saying, delete all your friends and followers and only have 5 friends. My point is very far from that, all I am saying is distinguish between your party friends and your real friends and don’t mix the two and don’t expect the same things from both. 

 

In the big bad world, its not about quantity, its about QUALITY. 

 

‘Rather a small team of genuises then a huge team of idiots’  

 

Have a good weekend ya’ll 

xoxo

The word we all fear, death.

Death.. What is it?

My whole life I have been somewhat brainwashed to believe that death is the norm and that it happens for a reason- it even escalated to the justification that the deceased ‘mission was complete’, so, my whole life I grew up believing it, preaching it and basically living by it.

I have never experienced a death
of a person close to me, and who knew, that a boy I merely just knew and had the odd conversations with would have such an impact on my life, I for one didn’t expect that.

Daniel Copans is his name, an 18-year-old boy who lost his fight to
the repellent, venal and unjustified disease; cancer.

He fought this disease like a true champion, for just over a year and a half, with every person who let alone knew him but heard of him as his support system, and I am not going to say it was unexpected; but regardless, it happened and the impact it had on me was unimaginable.

As I lay in my bed and begin praying, a wave overtakes me, a wave filled with anger and confusion- but the biggest feature of this wave, is the feeling of doubt, for once in my life I feel doubtful towards God. I scroll through my news feeds, and see statuses paying homage to him, I look at the faces of his family, friends and all those who cherished him, I analyze everyone and everything and regardless of who or what it is, I see a commonality beneath them all, they are in pain.

I am a very spiritual person and believe strongly is God and his ‘planbook’, but for the first time in my life, I am confused with his actions. In the past I have always been able to somewhat construct a reason to all of God’s actions but this? This is beyond comprehension. 18 years old? What could the reason be?

I want to continue this post with philosophical answers to my questions but I cannot, because the truth is, we are made from something greater than science and philosophers, and therefore the answer cannot be scientific.

So how do we move forward? What can we take from this tragedy? What is the lesson that is so profoundly concealed? The answer I am about to give you, is somewhat an anti-climax, but is the only rationalization that has brought me as an individual closure.

We as human beings have all been created in a way that I believe cannot be justified by anything except the power of God, and we are his children, we have souls and we have minds. Only afer a few weeks of intense questioning and praying and analyzing the death of Daniel, I have succumb my confusion and and stopped looking at the negative connotations this death entails and I have looked at the good that this tragedy released.

People try their entire lives to impact a persons life and many of us don’t fill that potential, but this young boy at the mere age of 18 brought together an ENTIRE community, he brought nearly 2000 young Jewish adolescents to a place of God, our synagogue. He captured the thought pattern of parents, teachers, children and many more.

And although, the pain overwhelms us and leaves us angry, confused and hurt, we need to open our eyes to the good, and Daniel didn’t merely die, he fought, he prospered, he showed young teenagers strength that they never knew subsisted within them, he died a true champion in every sense of the word.

And yes, we mourn and we long and we question, but imagine God created us as mindless robots? We wouldn’t learn from this tragedy, we would monotonously walk around earth controlled by a higher power?

So anyone going through loss, I hope this post finds you well, and although this is not a straight-forward, philosophical solution, we need to look beyond the science and look above at our God, and just as we trust our parents have our best interests at heart, we need to trust God, and I for one know how hard it is to trust and believe in something that is not corporally with us, but the reward of having that spiritual connection and seeing things not as the norm but rather as Godly signs is to me, much more indulgent and gratifying.

RIP to a true hero, a boy who will never be overlooked and a boy who every single person will instill in their memory and although he is no longer with us corporally, he is here just as God is, in our minds and spirits.

New obsession with VINYLUX

I am absolutely hopeless when it comes to my nails, if I get tips, they last one week until I get sick of them and bite them off, same cycle with gelish

So VINYLUX is my solution. It lasts exactly 7 days and guaranteed no chipping! It’s like the Gods above saw my pain and created this miracle nail polish.

I am obsessed. So if you have the same struggle (have being the operative word) — I recommend VINYLUX!

Xoxo
Jaydee

An arabian night

Sooo tonight I was so honored to attend a 21st of one of my good friends and the theme was so unique and beautiful.. ‘An Arabian Night’
Below is a pic of my outfit and makeup for the evening…

But the moral of this post is deeper, it’s not about the gorgeous theme it’s about the fact that I went for my hair, my makeup and my nails and many people asked “why? It’s not your party?” And I responded “why the fuck not???”.

So girls, when you have the opportunity, SEIZE IT! Because there is no better feeling than feeling beautiful and although tonight wasn’t my 21st, I loved every moment of getting pampered and it was worth every penny.

Every princess needs a glam squad so come on girls, put those invisible crowns on!!

I also want to take this opportunity to thank the amazing Bjorn Adams for my unbelievable makeup this evening. Your talent never fails to leave me speechless and every time I get the chance to use you, you just extend my opinion on your amazing work. Girls!!! Matric dances, proms, weddings, you name it.. He does it!!! He is my absolute best!!

Anyway, hope you all have a blessed Sunday and Polish your crowns for this long week ahead!!

xoxo
Jaydee

Below is a picture of my outfit, makeup and hair! Oh and Ofcourse my beautiful niece because hey, when you that cute, you have the right to crash photos !